Surviving an Injury (or Illness) with Grace and Humor

 Surviving an Injury (or Illness) with Grace and Humor    Norma Noonan

Whether young or old (and especially as we age), we all experience an injury or illness that can disrupt or change our lives.   I suffered a serious injury in the summer of 2016 in an auto accident.   Besides bruises over much of my body and a giant hematoma on my left thigh, my right leg was fractured in two places: the tibial plateau (which required surgery) and the top of the foot which did not require surgery but needed a long time to heal.  

I was in the hospital and rehab for one month and in a wheelchair at home for another month (unable to put weight on my right leg) and then slowly began to walk again with a walker and later a cane.   Now I walk without assistance.

One learns many lessons including patience during the long recovery period.  I had wonderful care in the hospital and rehab and had to exercise even though I could not put weight on the leg.  I learned how to use a walker (I had previous surgery in which I used a walker without learning how to use it). 

I learned a lot about people’s kindness since I had many visitors in the hospital and at home over the months of my recovery.    There was much to learn about gratitude, both that I had survived the accident and that people (family and friends) were so helpful. 

I went from wondering “why me?” to accepting that we all have a cross to bear, and this would be one of mine since I have a permanent reminder in my leg (in the form of a piece of metal shaped like a flagpole with little banners). 

But, I also learned the grace of good humor.   In the early months I had to repeat the story of the accident countless times, while wishing that I did not have to tell the tale again and again.   But, of course, people are curious, and they were hearing it for the first time whereas I was telling the story for perhaps the 100^th time.  

Eventually, however, some humorous incidents struck me.  In November (3 months after the accident) the young PA who saw me in her office announced that I could drive.   At that time, I was walking slowly with a walker, could get into the passenger side of only lower-slung cars (and then only backwards), and had a painful right ankle and foot swollen two-three times its normal size and unable to respond quickly.   How was I to drive with my recovering right leg?      Clearly a 25 year old does not understand fully the healing process.   It was several months more before I felt the leg was strong enough to drive.

Perhaps even funnier are the questions I get about whether the metal implant in my leg will be removed.   I point it that it is holding my tibia in place under the knee and will never come out.    This is perhaps the funniest of all the questions since implants generally are never removed.    Another friend, confusing my situation with knee replacement surgery, commented that my knee should feel better after the surgery.  I keep telling her that there was nothing wrong with my knee before the accident so how can it feel better afterward when it was fine beforehand and now has an implant.

Another statement (or question) is:  it doesn’t hurt anymore, does it?    Well, does a  surgically repaired leg ever feel normal?    If I walk too much or stand too long, it aches at night.  There is almost never a time when it feels normal (that is, as it did before the accident).   It feels strange when I sit, when I stand, and when I move.

I sometimes quip in response to the question:  does it hurt?   Only when I move.

I feel certain that others, who have had major surgery on any part of the body involving permanent implants, get similar questions and have a similar reaction.

For those of us who have endured long illnesses or serious injuries, we have to have the grace to say – well, no, it does hurt a little, but I will live with it.     It takes a little time to see the humor in these well-meaning but peculiar questions, but that is life.

Just a quick note on the gap of time between postings

There has been a huge gap of several months between blogs.   Shortly after my August 2016 posting, I was in a serious auto accident.  I had a bad leg fracture and have been in recovery for some months.

At some point I am going to write a blog reflecting on the process of recovery.  

The Two Faces of Christmas

It is December 23 and I am preparing for two holidays over the next two days.   A secular holiday and a religious holiday  take place on December 25.   They have co-existed for many years, but the coexistence has become more tenuous in my opinion.   Both holidays have a long heritage and overlapping roots.

The religious holiday is clear.  December 25 is day on which it is believed that Jesus was born over 2000 years ago.   That holiday centers on a religious observation of the birth of Christ and brings with it beautiful music, classic church services, warm thoughts of peace and good will and family gatherings.  An exchange of gifts is based on the legend of the three wise men who brought gifts to Jesus.

Also an ancient pagan tradition of celebrating the end of the year with various festivities  has long been combined with Christian celebrations.  Historically at various times, there was less or more emphasis on the end of the year celebrations.  

In an increasingly secular world, some aspects of Christmas have been embraced while omitting the religious aspect.  Music has been secularized and romanticized (White Christmas, I'll be Home for Christmas,  Rudolph...,  etc.) to reflect a nostalgic holiday marked by family traditions, decorations, and social gatherings.   This could be described as a Hallmark Christmas as reflected in their film festival which begins at Halloween and ends at Christmas.   I love the film festival which gives us a warm, fuzzy feeling at this time of year and even makes me feel good about snow.   It is principally secular.  Traditional carols have more or less disappeared from the airwaves, but one can still find them on religious channels.    I have been recording programs called "The Joy of Music," which EWTN drops into its schedule at various times, including the middle of the night.  I then listen to these programs at my convenience.  These classical concerts are well worth the effort.


The transformation of an early medieval saint (Nicholas) into Santa Claus is a further reflection of secularization.  Santa Claus has become ubiquitous and not just in the West.   Christmas trees have also become universal whether called a holiday tree or a New Year tree.   Children, especially in our society, get too much and expect multiple presents.    

Gift giving generally has been stepped up over our life time, and the shopping season has become the difference for businesses between operating in the black and operating in the red.   Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) now begins sometime in November and continues to early December when supplemented by Cyber Monday which seems to last at least a week (instead of just the Monday after Thanksgiving).  Personally I do a lot of my gift shopping, mostly online, during the protracted Black Friday season.   I admire those who have decided to run against the grain and reduce gift exchanges in their families.   It takes courage.

For many people, the next two days will be a blur of family gatherings, food, and gifts, gifts, gifts.  Many will not go to any church at all. Some because they do not believe;  others because they don't have the time with all the other activities.   Some will attend a short carol-prayer service on Christmas eve as a token tribute to recognizing Christ.   My church will have masses lasting well over an hour, and closer to two if one arrives in time to hear the music before the mass begins both on Christmas eve and Christmas day.   Some friends feel sorry that I go to a long service, but what is Christmas after all?

  Whether we say happy holidays  or Merry Christmas is perhaps less important than how we personally celebrate.    To people whom I know I prefer to say, Merry Christmas.   To people whose background I do not know, I am inclined to say,  happy holidays.     Often a split second choice.   I love the fact that there are religious stamps that actually say Christmas.  Kudos to the post office.

With two holidays competing for our attention, we who are Christian have to make tough choices and priorities.   The secular is winning out over the religious holiday, and coexistence is becoming harder.

How important is the leader;s legacy?

Today I heard Bill Hybels give another wonderful leadership presentation (8/11/2016) on the four lenses of leadership.
All of it was very good.  I have been thinking about one of his points - the rear view lens.   Basically it dealt with the legacy of the leader.

Since Hybels is now in his 60s, I suspect he is thinking about his legacy after 40 years at Willow Creek.

For me, the question is multidimensional.  What kind of legacy have I left?  What kind of legacy am I building?
I can look back at my work in building the political science department after Myles Stenshoel passed the baton to me in 1970.  I can especially look back at creating and building the faculty development program at Augsburg from 1980 to 1987.   I can look back at the 18 years in which I lifted the MA in Leadership program out of the doldrums and made it a strong program although one that requires continued vigilance, re-thinking, and re-buioding because of the changing market.

My legacy is also the many, many students with whom I worked in about 50 years of teaching.

But should we really focus on our legacy?   Is there a selfish dimension to that?   Isn't it enough to say I did the best I could.  The programs continue.  If we don't harm the programs entrusted to us, then we are maintaining or building.  Creating and building are always positive, but should we dwell on the issue of legacy?

I am not sure of the significance of worrying about legacy.... I have to ponder this further...

Finding a Calling

A lot of people are unhappy in their work life, even if earning a good salary.   They are not satisfied or fulfilled by their work.   No matter what the title, the work seems to be drudgery and tedious.

They are tired of commuting, tired of stress, tired of office gossip, and tired of trying to juggle their personal and professional lives with so little satisfaction.

It is easy to say:  Step back.  Assess your role.   I can say this, sitting in the comfort of my living room, not on the freeway at 7 am.  

But, that is exactly what we have to do.  Step back from our daily lives.  

Find a place to be alone, whether that is a park, a beautiful forest, a chapel, or even your bedroom.

Ask youself:  What do I want?  What am I missing?   What am I willing to give up?   What am I willing to do?

I recently read an interesting story of a family who gave up their 2000 square foot house for a 270 square foot house and found greater happiness and more time to do what they valued.

How we spend our time and our money usually tells the story of what we want.  If there is a disconnect in our lives between what we want and what we are doing, this is the time to correct it.

Don't put it off...

Finding Leadership among Us

We often lament the lack of leadership in high places.   But, what about the immediate world in which we move every day?
There are leaders all around us, not always positional leaders, but leaders in everyday activities.

To find leaders among us, just look around.  Be aware and observant.  Leadership is there.  We have to recognize it in ourselves and in others.

Don't shy away from leadership if you find yourself in situations where leadership is required and needed.  

If situations require leadership, be awake to its call...

Why It Is A Big Deal...

Not long ago, when we were watching the news,  my 8 year old granddaughter asked: " Grandma, has there ever been a girl president?"
(Remember, she is 8 years old.  She does not know that it is politically correct to say woman.She thinks in terms of girls and boys.)
"No, I told her.   If Hillary becomes president, she will be the first."

Well, Hillary is now the first woman presumptive nominee of a  major party and thus has a chance to become president.   And while some women are rejoicing because of this historic feat, others are saying it is no big deal.

Yes, we have come a long way, but there are still elusive barriers.   Whether we call them a glass ceiling or a  labyrinth, or whatever, the path to success is not always there.  

Younger women who have no difficulty getting a good first job when they get out of college wonder why we older women are sometimes skeptical about future opportunities     They have not yet encountered their first major barrier or, if they have, they did not recognize it.   It will come later very likely.

I teach a graduate course in women and leadership.  It is not infrequent that a woman tells me:  "You know, I just read something in one of the books that made me realize that I had encountered the same situation, but did not recognize it at the time."

I am more attuned to the signs of discrimination against women, in part because I have seen and experienced so much, and in part because of the awareness that comes with teaching such a course regularly.    I am always learning about new issues, large and small, obvious or subtle.

Whether one supports Hillary Clinton for president is not the key issue here, but the fact that a major party will have a woman candidate for president for the first time is a very big deal.  Savor the moment.