I have spent years getting myself to be calm in most situations, and most of the time I succeed. However, not always. Sylvia Boorstein, the noted author and consultant, who combines Buddhism and Judaism, once said she is two words away from losing her equanimity. She has spent years cultivated calmness and inner peace, as I have I.
In Sylvia's case, the two words are : "Hello, Ma," at the other end of the telephone!
Yesterday, I lost my calmness as well, when a charity to which I regularly donate wrote a letter telling me I was behind in my long-term pledge. The fact is that I paid off my pledge early, and that apparently has caused havoc with their bookkeeping.
For the next couple of hours, off and on, as my tension rose, I checked three years of files on my current computer, and then went to my back-up hard drive to find older records. By 11 last night I had reconstructed the whole pattern of giving, but had also given myself a good tension headache and a tenseness throughout my whole body.
Why? Why do we let this happen? I have no easy answers. I think it is a dilemma that everyone faces. So, we keep trying not to sweat the small things, but in the meantime, what do I do about this tension headache?
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